Joan Knows Best!

After many years in comedy, I still had never met one of my role models in the business, Joan Rivers. Now most people just know Joan as "the plastic surgery lady" or the "red carpet/fashion police lady", which is sad. Joan is so much more than that. She is one of the original bad bitches of comedy. She was blazing trails back in the day, and she still is. She's been in the business longer than I have been alive, and what I love most about Joan is she isn't afraid to be raw and real.

Here's the thing, I hate to say this but the business isn't real anymore. You used to go to a nightclub back in the day and comics, we were like these free thinkers, and it was respected and kind of cool and underground, and blah blah blah. You know? Heyday of comedy shit. Now it's all bullshit. Any idiot who can get tickets sold, can become a headliner, and struggling comics who care about the art form are banished to coffee shops and dive bars. Seriously, if you think the watered down stuff you see on corporate-owned television is funny, go out to your local comedy night and enjoy! I'm not saying you will find A+ talent, I can't speak for all the good... and really bad comics out there. I'm just saying, explore your local comedy scene. You will be pleasantly surprised. Don't go out and support comedy shows just because the person on the bill is famous or whatever. I mean come on, Screech from Saved by The Bell is doing stand up. (Sorry, Screech!) Ok, I'll stop. I'm being a hater. I'm sure Screech has a couple good bits....

Anyways, back to Joan. I had been trying to catch her, but with her Fashion Police schedule and now her new show Joan Knows Best, I don't think she was doing that many tour dates. My husband, Andrew, found out that she was going to be doing two tour dates in the Los Angeles area, but one was way later in the year. Ok, I love you, Joan, but you are getting old. Look at all the young people who have died in the past year? A lot. I wanted to see her sooner than later in case the great light beckoned her to the beyond. It's a real fear when you're old. In fact her opening joke that night was, "What if I died tonight?" Lol. She knows she's an old bitch! Andrew pulled some strings behind my back and... viola! Surprised me with an amazing night. Oh, and she was funnier than I thought in person. Gotta see her live! She is one of the funniest comedians alive or dead, male or female, young or old. Edgy material with a twist and a kick, and really active on stage. She got on her back for an act-out on a sex joke. Wow. Even I can't do that, and I'm 28 years old...Love her. Love her. Please go see her next live show!!!!!!! Sooo funny, I can't even explain.

The crazy thing about the whole show is she has this huge black fur looking coat the whole time and she never broke a sweat. It was like an hour show. I'm on stage 20 minutes and I'm sweating like a fat guy. Then she does a costume change for the grand finale. I go to meet her backstage, and she's in a whole other outfit and primped and fabulous. I'm not sure if face lifts make your sweat glands not work? What the hell?! I respect that woman so much, but her story scares the crap out of me. She didn't start to make it until her late 30's, and her career had so many ups and downs and ups and downs. This business just eats people and spits them back out. I keep thinking, "Could I deal with all this in ten years? 20 years?" I can barely deal now and I'm young and ambitious! This is why so many people in entertainment thank God when they get up to that podium, and people are like "Why the hell are they 'thank God' this and 'thank God' that?" Let me tell you, Hollywood is such a brain-f*ck, that if you don't have a little faith, you'll go nuts. Joan was hilarious, and a total sweetie. Oh, yea! And the show was a benefit for a LGBT group. So, there were gay guys everywhere. I loved it!  Andrew grabbed as much free wine from the green room as he could, and I got a couple pics. Yea, we're classy.